September 15, 2011 jennyrain

Choose Joy

This is my favorite picture of Sara.

It happened a few weeks ago when Jessica and Elias and Adeline got to visit Sara and love on her. This picture represents to me what Sara’s life conveys to the rest of us…


Joy that she chooses
Joy unbridled
Joy based not on circumstances but on Him

I am not ready to talk about Sara in past tense. I do not know that I will ever be ready to do that… because Sara lives in the moment… and that helps me to remain there too… and no matter that one of those moments will place a thin veil between Sara as she goes to be with God in heaven from me who is still here on earth, Sara has made that distance seem so much “less far” than it used to be.


So Sara, to you I say

Thank you – that even through your pain, you have stretched up your arms as high as they would reach, to pull down the corners of heaven and share with us your experience of living into the Father’s Kingdom. I would not know what the fullness of Joy means were it not for you. I would not understand how to live out my strength in the joy of the Lord if I didn’t have your example to follow.

You might have lived challenged by location, but your Spirit, your heart, and your person have traveled a wide and long path that is sure to carry on long after you have passed through that thin veil to God’s arms.

You have – especially in these last moments – helped the scriptures come alive more boldly for me…

When God says to us, “I know the plans I have for you…” and that those plans are “Good… not to harm us… but to give us a HOPE and a FUTURE…” you have taught me that our true HOPE and future, His ultimate plan for us is to be as close to Him as we can be… and that sometimes, that means He will carry us physically home to Him.

When I read that “Moses… became so tired… Aaron and Hur… stood on each side… holding up his hands” I am reminded that God will soon be holding up your arms in victory with Him in heaven just as your co-laborers here on earth stood with you when you were too weak to fight the battle.

When I learn that “our perishable bodies must be replaced with the imperishable” because the human body sown in “weakness” will be raised “in power” I rejoice knowing that this body that is failing you will soon… and very soon… be glorified by our merciful, compassionate Father and that gives me cause to want to dance.

When I think of your “One Word” as PRAISE my heart soars to know that soon you will be experience the greatest of Praise in His presence

I can’t help but see Jesus with a twinkle in His eye, stretching, oh how He is stretching down to earth right now to catch and embrace you when you breathe your last breath.

I can’t help but think how excited He must be to see you and tell you “Sara, there will be no more weeping, no more crying out in pain as your body fails you, no more labored breathing… now you are whole, healed, and can experience what you have taught others to do so well – fullness of joy.”  Though He already knows every fibre of  your being, I can’t help but think he must be excited to spend eternity with you… for if you brighten heaven as you have shined here on earth… heaven is going to be full of even more JOY with your presence.

You have taught me that sometimes, God’s ultimate plan when we pray for healing is to be fully healed, and whole, and present with Him, and though that hurts my heart and shatters it in ways I cannot express… I know that you are on your way to healing forever… and that gives me great joy and hope.

I am reminded of you every single day when I walk into work and see the HOPE plaque that I have created with your beautiful writing on it… and I see your legacy living far and wide as people come into my office and inquire about it, and I get to share your incredible story over, and over, and over. I see your impact when it brings a smile to their face and their hand to their heart in amazement of how your Joy has triumphed over your circumstances.  

Please say hi to our dear friend Amy who we lost 2 years ago… we love her so. We think that you will be fast friends as Amy had that infectious spirit like you… though we here on earth are saddened that God seems to get the best ones to be with Him… we are delighted knowing that you two will be together soon… brightening up heaven and shining your joy…

I love you Gitzyboo and thank you for the incredible impact you have, are having, and will continue to have on my life and the lives of those who get to listen to me talk about you all the time.




psst… and I went over 5 minutes in writing this, but I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo and community because I adore them all and today’s prompt is “Joy” in honor of our sweet Gitz.


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I break things and trip a lot. I like to chase things like dreams, goals, ideas, and raindrops. I create things with words. Writing has been an outlet since I first discovered the magic empty space of a journal. Words dance around in my brain and often land amidst scraps of paper, find their way into journals, or etch themselves into blinking pixels. I hope my words fall like rain on tender souls in need of refreshing. Finding photos in random moments helps me share stories. During a trip to Africa the perfect trifecta of my first DSLR, mission trip, and dream-location happened and my love of photography became a reality. I'm currently writing my first book, "Will They Laugh if I Call You Daddy: Growing up with 2 Dads in an Evangelical World," I'm a board member for One Million Kids, and I believe that every kid of an LGBT parent should have an opportunity to #ChangeTheConversation with their story. My bio remains in process because I am.

Comments (18)

  1. Moe

    Breathtaking and beautiful. I don’t know her and have seen the tweets honoring her. Thank you for sharing. 

  2. Anonymous

    oh how i love sara. and you. i love you both. so glad to have had you both in my life.

    • jennyrain

      thank you… please keep Sara and her family in prayer… it has been a long road for all of them… but her life is so well lived…

  3. Shellie Kubicki

    I can only bring myself to read 2 or 3 posts a day! I’m glad Jess offered up the linky thingy! This is beautiful. And that is my fav pic, too. The look of sheer joy & wonder on both their faces is priceless! The joy she has brought to my life is priceless! I will forever remember to #choosejoy and be grateful for every second of my life.

  4. Diana trautwein

    Oh, my – this is so lovely. Thank  you so much. I never met Sara, never spoke with her, never emailed with her. I commented on her posts from time to time because they were just so spectacular and she always said some small, kind thing back to me. And yet I feel as though I am losing a true friend. I wrote a tribute to her, too – even though it cannot be as personal as yours. It wouldn’t NOT be written. This one here – this one I LOVE.

  5. Tcoll2000

    Thank you, dear. Our gitzengirl has been on my mind lately, not sure why. Your words are beautiful and they comfort my heart. Love you!

    • jennyrain

      Me too Thel – I had a couple folks ask me about my tattoo this week and it warmed my heart thinking about sweet Gitz 🙂

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