August 25, 2014 jennyrain

Do you believe in miracles?

This weekend we start The Grave Robber series at NCC.

My pastor, Mark Batterson, wrote a book all about seven of the miracles in John and we are getting ready to do a sermon series on it.

Pastor Mark said that he is hoping for miracles at NCC as we enter into this series. Me too. That’s exciting, and faith producing, and thrilling to see God working in our midst. This is the trailer…

Yet even as Pastor Mark made the comment and presented the trailer, I found myself already doubting the power of God to work a miracle in my relationship life.

I still doubt that God is bigger than my impossibly unhealthy relationships.
I wrestle with who is more powerful — my problem or my God.
I know intellectually that God is a miracle worker, but my heart rages against the experiential truth of God redeeming 20 years of brokenness.

When you have had an issue for over two decades, you begin to think it’s permanent.

Maybe I’ll have to borrow from the faith produced by other people’s miracles for awhile; I’m ok with that. A miracle is a miracle… and it shows God is working in your midst and present, so I’ll take God being near… that works!

I’m not sure what it will take to shift my thinking and faith around this issue. I know a mental shift is needed, just not sure how to get there.

For today, I am just asking God to help me believe a little more than I did yesterday that He is the God of the impossible.



I break things and trip a lot. I like to chase things like dreams, goals, ideas, and raindrops. I create things with words. Writing has been an outlet since I first discovered the magic empty space of a journal. Words dance around in my brain and often land amidst scraps of paper, find their way into journals, or etch themselves into blinking pixels. I hope my words fall like rain on tender souls in need of refreshing. Finding photos in random moments helps me share stories. During a trip to Africa the perfect trifecta of my first DSLR, mission trip, and dream-location happened and my love of photography became a reality. I'm currently writing my first book, "Will They Laugh if I Call You Daddy: Growing up with 2 Dads in an Evangelical World," I'm a board member for One Million Kids, and I believe that every kid of an LGBT parent should have an opportunity to #ChangeTheConversation with their story. My bio remains in process because I am.