January 6, 2015 jennyrain

3 Simple Ways To Make Transitions Easier | Guest Post

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons by myfriso

I love sharing my blog space with people I respect and admire. Makeda is one of those people. I talked about her here because she was the mentor who has helped me navigate this past year.

Makeda is an expert in helping people move through transitions. I asked her to share a little wisdom with us on what she recommends. Her post is below…

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3 Simple Ways To Make Transitions Easier

We are in the time of year when lots of transitions are happening. We have just transitioned from one year to another. If you’re in the Southern Hemisphere you have just transitioned from Spring to Summer. And we in the Northern Hemisphere have just experienced the transition of the Winter Solstice, the time of year when the period of darkness is longest.

Though technically it will get lighter as the days progress through January, it will be awhile before we can truly feel like we are experiencing more light than dark.

Transitions can feel an awful lot like the Winter Solstice.

Transitions are hard. Transitions in times of darkness can feel even harder because it can be so hard to see the light while faced with so much darkness. The change is necessary, we know this but moving through it is no less difficult for its necessity and sometimes the necessity makes it even harder.

If you are navigating a change of some sort, I want to share with you three things you can do to help make getting through this time a little easier.

1. Let Go of Other People’s Expectations

Everyone is going to have an opinion about how you should behave. Everyone will want to give his or her two cents about what you should or shouldn’t do. While you are navigating a season of change, it is critical that you hear your heart clearly so you can move through the change with integrity. Too often, other people’s voices are so loud it is impossible to know what is real and what is imaginary.

You have to let go of worrying what other people might think, feel or say about you. Not everyone is going to agree with your decision but they don’t have to agree, they only have to accept it. If they can’t accept it then you may have to make the difficult decision to change the role they play in your life.

If other people’s expectations are allowed to drive your decisions during this season, you will move through this time more slowly or worse, you may find yourself getting stuck. You have to do what feels most right for you and hold onto that regardless of what anyone else things about it.

2. Know What’s Yours to Carry

There will be loss and gain during this season. You will have to let go of some things, including some familiar things, in order to step into your new space. Cultivating a new normal is part of this process and in doing so you will have to question the assumptions and beliefs you now carry.

Ask yourself if that truth belongs to you or did you inherent it from someone else? If it’s yours then carry it but if, in fact, it came from someone else then releasing it will be the necessary thing for you to do.

Beliefs and mindsets can feel like they belong to us but if we can get into the habit of questioning the stories we tell ourselves, we may discover that what we owned as a truth is not actually true for us. Don’t be afraid to question what you think to be true. You may freedom in the questioning.

3. Get Support

No person is an island. We are meant to do life in community with others, not in isolation. Trying to move through a life transition, big or small, without support is a recipe for disaster. You are inviting more heartache and sorrow if you try to do this alone.

Surround yourself with people who can be FOR you during this time. Be open to the possibility that your support system may not come from the people or places you would expect. Transitions can create new connections so stay open to that possibility too.

Most of all, reach out for help. Get really clear about what you need and then ask for that help. Try to avoid deciding what people can or cannot do for you and simply ask them for what you need. Listen to your intuition for guidance on who to ask and then reach out to them.

I don’t know what transition might look like for you right now. But whatever that is I want you to know that you will come out the other side of this. It might be dark right now but it won’t stay dark. The sun always comes up in the morning, even if the clouds don’t part the light still penetrates the darkness and I know the light will find it’s way to you.

Hold tight to that assurance and you’ll make it.

From my heart to yours,

Makeda Pennycooke

 

keeds Makeda is a Women’s Leadership Mentor and Coach. After spending too many years letting other people’s opinions decide how I should live and lead, I am now committed to empowering women leaders to redefine leadership on their own terms. In my spare time, you might find me curled up with a book in my favorite recliner; wandering around in pursuit of beauty behind the lens of my camera; or attempting to further my budding relationship with yoga. I believe chocolate makes everything better and life should be filled with the moments that make your heart sing. I love the ocean, sun-kissed days, and a steaming hot cup of tea (always tea, never coffee). I can be found sharing tips and inspiration for women leaders at www.makedapennycooke.com

 

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If you or someone you know is interested in being coached by Makeda, I highly recommend it! Contact her at her website to learn more!

jennyrain

I break things and trip a lot. I like to chase things like dreams, goals, ideas, and raindrops.

I create things with words. Writing has been an outlet since I first discovered the magic empty space of a journal. Words dance around in my brain and often land amidst scraps of paper, find their way into journals, or etch themselves into blinking pixels. I hope my words fall like rain on tender souls in need of refreshing.

Finding photos in random moments helps me share stories. During a trip to Africa the perfect trifecta of my first DSLR, mission trip, and dream-location happened and my love of photography became a reality.

I’m currently writing my first book, “Will They Laugh if I Call You Daddy: Growing up with 2 Dads in an Evangelical World,” I’m a board member for One Million Kids, and I believe that every kid of an LGBT parent should have an opportunity to #ChangeTheConversation with their story.

My bio remains in process because I am.

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